For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
