I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
