So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
