dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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