Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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