how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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