i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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