Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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