sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
they're like a gay fantastic four
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
