if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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