Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
