according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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