chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
