THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
