So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
