so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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