A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
