I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
