I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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