I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
