I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
