Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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