U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
