i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
