East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
