just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
