you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Damn victory sex feels great
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
