I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
