Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
