She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
