Apparently you make a good broom.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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