Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
