Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
