in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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