first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
