i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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