some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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