you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
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