the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
