Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
