i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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