I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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