girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
