Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
