Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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