I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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