Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We had sex on a dog bed..
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
