dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
