Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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