ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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